No Subtle Man

it's 11.59pm. No, it really is 11.59pm. I am sitting in my room, listening to No Subtle Man. "No lifelong friend, lives in my time." She says. Perhaps she's right. Everything I have now might not mean anything 10 years later, and i might not even be the same person i am right now. But honestly, who cares? I was feeling horrible, but now i just decided to forget it and feel awesome instead. Forget about this crazy world, i don't need to weep or whine anymore. I'm sick of being sick of this world. I don't even hate this world that much, I simply refuses to understand its ugliness that costs me so much pain. I'm sorry for being such an asshole, I'm sorry for being ridiculously sentimental, ridiculously cynical, I'm even sorry for feeling sorry. I should have known better? It's either to survive or to perish. If I can't live with determination and faith, then I am not living at all. I am nothing but a soulless creature, because I have failed to be who I am supposed to be. I believe that there is a Creator, someone out there, who's watching us and observing us closely. I believe that because no matter how much we try to discover ourselves, there are always parts of a human experience which you cannot truly comprehend, and we will never really understand those things. But for now, I'm just gonna live for myself. I'll definitely live with burdens, but if it's the kind of path I have to go through, I am all for it. There's no way to hide, so forget about stupid self-pity and take the challenge. No Subtle Man.