School!

Ahh...i am going to Nanyang Girls!! lol, this is exciting and yet worrying. what if i don't fit in there? what if my english isn't good enough? what if all the ppl around me are very hard working and smart? lol...i am scared, and yet, i wanted to face this challenge.^^ believe in yourself!

Eh,eh

i am sitting in front of my laptop, blankly. it's only music and me, in my little room. i am expecting a sudden interrupt, a surprise, from someone, someone that is important to me. and who could that guy be?
everything seems simple, and easy, but it won't last forever, nothing will. i have a strong urge to do something, sing or dance, i want to celebrate this peacefulness, but with who? who could really understand me, and know me truly? if i am Clare, who would be Henry?
Clare felt happy when Henry is with her, and when Henry's gone, she missed him every minute and second. Could this be the same situation? why do i feel so happy with him?
what is true love? is it supposed to creat pain? does it require adventures? do u always stay with someone u love? how do u know that u love him?
and how do u tell him that u care about him? questions pop up in my head...i don't understand, and probably refuse to.
i look back in memories, i found many love, and then i realised that love is with us all the time. but maybe i am just expeting someone to point me out.

Hamster Dance!!

Maplestory? or is it just a story?

Come to think about it,i have been playing maplestory for a few months. I love the game, but i hate the idea of playing it. It depresses ppl who cared for me, i hate to do that. I don't know, when i was sticking with audition i didn't have that feeling, but when it is maplestory, i felt sick. You might want to ask why are u still playing it when u felt unpleasant? My answer is: I felt contented there.
It's not about the whole hack-protecting system or the nice-music-background-cash-shop, it's about the ppl in this game and the world that the game have created for us. Yes, to lure us, i know. Many ppl toke this as home and they eventually neglected who they really loved, but it's only because they don't felt loved in the real world. They are lack of sth, sth important to them, a pride maybe? a satisfiction perhaps? a feeling of belong and responsibility, that's not what they are allowed in real life, in the reality. Thus, they seek for it in the computer game, the virtuality, something that seemed to be true but isn't, something that make u feel safe but actually designed to make u feel empty. The more empty u get, the more u want to stay in this world, because it has became the only hope and reason for you, the only future of urs, nothing matters more then this and nothing can win your loyalty towards this dazzling trap.
So why did i remained in this scary place when i know what is happening? I admit,i am lured to it,i don't know if i addicted to it but if i did,i would not be here talking endlessly to a machine. I just needed something to hear me, something that i can confess to, ( zzz, coco, stop it, it's definitely not u! ) and the computer seemed to be the best audience of mine, something that can keep a secret and something that can be trusted ( yea, and in the end coco still got to read it ) it doesn't matter anyways, cos if u are not the guy that i am talking about, if u are not the one that i truly want to confess to, all these are useless.So just sit tight and listen tentatively ( quietly at the same time, thx ).
When i first started this game, i thought i can lose it easily. Really, just liked what i did when i played audition, i didn't addict to it, i didn't sank into that cruel virtuality. I won that battle, i succeeded in getting ride of it( well, cos there's something wrong about the software and i just cant fix it ) So anyways, i didn't miss it at all when i left( is that because i started to play maplestory? oh, nvm! ) I started maplestory with curiousity ( that's nothing wrong, right! ) but i soon found out that this world is completely different from the one in audition. This world is a warmer and nicer one ( not saying it's lovable,cos ppl still scold bad words ) and u can actually found many pleasant little details about it. It's like when u leveled up, and when u received generous guildance from a pro and when u won a battle all by urself, all these little sprinkles of ingredient make me feel contented, what i truly cared is not this game, but how i felt when i am playing it. And above all these, I found a true fren, someone that really understood me, someone that make me feel secured and warm,Incand3scent. I met in when doing a quest. I was totally lost and pissed off. Nobody seemed to care anyhow, they just passed by me like i am nothing but air to them, everyone except Incand3scent. He lead me to the correct way and helped me with my quest, he even gave me some equips. I was jubilant and grateful, so i added him on my bl. At that tiime,I wondered why he helped me rather then going away, like any pro would do, and he wasted half his afternoon finishing off stumps just to help me to complete and quest. I even felt ashamed and uncomfortable when he did that,discreetly wishing him to go offline or leave.But when days passed, we got to know each other more. He was gentle and nice, and helped me many times when i didn't know what to do. But when i asked him if he got any hobbies or dreams, he said "no". And when i inquired for a reason, he simply said i would understand much later. Something about him told me that he was not having an easy life, or at least he didn't love what he's having. He was pessimistic and hurt,but yet so perfectly normal.( i mean, he plays maple right? that's supposed to be a relaxing and childish game and ppl who plays it are either childish or too relaxed)I wanted to know more but rejected every time. Soon the pressure arrived, i was continuously blamed for playing maplestory so long and i thought i deserve that. I should fall for this trap, this hideous and unreal trap that many teenagers have fallen into. I decided to say good bye to Incand3scent and all my other frens, but to my disappointment, he wasn't on9. He used to on9 in afternoon and at night but suddenly, everything about him was silent and vanishing. He left no traces of hint, or clue, or messages, he seemed to left this game, this world, this trap, and fell asleep. But why? This world matters to him! I know it does, because when i asked him why he had chosen maplestory rather then his family and frens that he once said he cherished, he replied he was "silly". And i said "you're not, it's just that u wanted to escape, like i do. You wanted to live in another environment and another style, you wanted to get something that u cant reach in reality here, like everyone does." He felt silent and said "yes" and then he felt silent agn. Was it because of my words he started to give up? Was it because of my boostful speech about escaping into emptiness made him realise that it's time to quit? Well, if he's ready for it, so am i. I am always ready to leave, to delete this software and quit this game, i am just waiting for him, wanting him to leave with me, so i won't have to endure all these loniless and emptiness myself. I just needed a fren, and that's all. But did he thought of it? Or he just left because he have to, or need to. I kept telling myself that he will never do this but yet everything is possible. Maybe he didn't care about me that much, and thought i would do fine without him. Well...i am alright,but i sincerely hope he could be back. All these wonderful yet short memories that were engraved in my heart prevented me from forgetting him. I don't want to forget him, i want him,my fren back. Maybe he didn't know how eager i am,and maybe he wouldn't know that i was talking about him right now,but even if he didn't,it's fine.Like what many ppl said, the further you stay away from virtuality,the safer you are.To me,he's part of the virtuality.However,the further he is from me,the more upset i got.Time will wash away everything and i have started to feel its power already.But like what i said,i don't want to forget about him,i want to cherish him as a fren and i want him to know that i care.

Hmm~

Well...i got my Guzheng result, it turned out to be quite good!( at least to me ) Cheer Vee got a higher score and she was so happy about it. ( lol? ) Anyways, i am continuing my Guzheng lessons( why? i don't know, maybe i felt fluttered and wanted to do better )I really liked Guzheng to tell the truth, and it's just that i thought i would felt ashamed if i didn't do well( lol, don't laugh )I think the whole movie promise will not be granted, but who cares?We should learn to cherish what we had,right? That's something that i learned from a very good fren of mine.
So, just continue to work hard~!