if i were to write you a poem.

if i were to write you a poem, what will it be? a sad one, a happy one; a funny one, a lonely one; maybe, i'm not writing anything, for my love for you is far beyond words. slowly, i hold your hands, leading you to the garden in my heart, where there is no sadness, nor happiness; for nothing can be seen if you are not by me. you are my eyes, my ears, and my eternity. so tell me baby, if i were to write you a poem, what will it be?

hmmm okay, i've been wanting to change my blog skin for quite some time, but then i just couldn't be bothered with all the tedious procedure, and since nobody's reading blog anyway, i'll just leave it at that. it's quite a nice skin actually :) hmm i have a fever now, pretty tired and dizzy. and i just watched mama, which kinda sucked. i really don't know what to expect from kpop now. i've thinking for a while, since im so laidback, (as i appeared to be), and sometimes i wonder about things which have absolutely no answer. so yeah...it's called daydreaming huh? haha anyway, i shall be who i am and work hard, right?

john mayer your body is a wonderland

something about canteen

when you talk about a school or an university, canteen seems to be one of the crucial criteria on deciding its qualification. elite schools have big and luxurious canteen which fully establishes its well-known prestige while some schools have small, cramped and dungeon-like canteens. although it is rather exaggerating to compare a place where you have your meals to a "dungeon", it is commonly acknowledged that some canteens are simply unfavorable in its conditions. speaking of conditions, a canteen is usually judged by its appearance, the food it offers, its overall hygiene and the students who occupy it. as beautiful or luxurious as a canteen may be, it is still based on the fact that it is there to provide a comfortable environment for the people in it. a canteen is no difference from a restaurant, without the presence of respectable patrons, even the most high-class restaurant will seem lackluster one way or another. it is cruel to say this, but in reality, everybody is being judged by everyone else. you shouldn't appear in the wrong place, people think, because they never do so either. and sometimes, going to canteen is a tough thing. it requires a careful planning, a good timing, and some luck. nobody likes to eat alone, despite the countless "eat-alone" campaigns and their pretentious support. everyone likes to be with their friends, in their cliques, to feel safe and comfortable, even though that means limiting yourself in choosing what you want to order or when do you want to order it. privacy seems like nothing in the bustling canteen, filled with noises coming from all directions. afterall, this is the place where all sorts of talk is exchanged by students and even teachers. you can easily spot a person's who feeling down by the way she eats or speaks. silence is never a good thing in canteen, because it signals that the person is indeed eating her food, which is no fun at all. just like students, teachers have their own spot in the canteen as well. instead of having their lunch in the canteen, they choose to pack their food and enjoy it in cool and spacious office. eating in canteen is a hideous thing for them as it not only involves dreadful queuing time and not-so-cozy benches, but also the occasional stare and exclaim of awe from the students passing by who happen to know them, or rather, happen not. the awkwardness when a teacher gets squeezed in a line of students, staring into space or pretends to check her phone is unbearable, the desperation of trying to find and connect with some students that she might have taught, and the disappointment when that particular student ignores or chooses to ignore eye contact with her is simply unbearable. hence,just having a cup of coffee, sit in their little area and chat with their fellow colleagues in the canteen seems to be a better and wiser choice for most teachers. in this place where the students seem to be the majorities, it is smarter for the teachers, the minorities, to stay together for their own survival. when you seem a single teacher sitting at one corner, eating all by herself, as a student, you can't help but laugh a little inside her heart, assuming that she's being miserable on her own. but when you see a group of teachers, normally from a department, sit together and chat merrily (although we hardly understand the subject of their conversation) over cups of tea, you can't help but feel tense, or even frightened when you spot your own teacher being one of them. it if funny how people react to different circumstances, but it is true. canteen is not just a place for food and relaxation, but also a venue to mix in, to mingle, and to adapt. canteen's like a jungle.

river flows in you

there are really a lot of amazing people living in this world, just looking at them makes me feel embarrassed and uselss. what am i doing when they are working so hard for their dreams? what is my dream? when will my day come? i wonder if i'm ever be someone like them, or just be myself. i had never wanted to be the best in everything, i simply wanted to do well in areas that i like, leave no regrets and live happily. that's all i've ever wanted, and yet it was so hard to fulfill it. i guess humans are just greedy by nature, they can't help but want more for themselves. it's something that i tried to break free but could never break free off. in this world, it's hard to live just being yourself. i wonder if i'll ever be somebody, or just lying on my bed, resigned, tired, and cynical of this world, writing miserable entries like every other lonely person in this world. no, that's not what i want. i wanna sing, i wanna dance, i wanna enjoy this moment without worrying for the next. i wanna eat all the food i like and travel to all the places on earth. i wanna live a happy life just for once, and make the world a better place. i don't mind being sad, but i'll never lose faith in myself, i'll be evergreen, never fades. okay?

wishes

"Wishes can come true. But not if you just wait for miracles. Miracles are things we make for ourselves. Here, and now.""Wishes can come true. But not if you just wait for miracles. Miracles are things we make for ourselves. Here, and now."

hehe

Yo whatssup! It's 11 55 right now...and im super tired...sigh okay i confess, ive slacked too much and now i have to sleep late to make up for the time lost, im sry but what can i do? i always seem to be slacking when that's not my intention >< anyway....ive listening to a lot of songs recently, and there's only one song that touched my heart so deeply. ill not say the tile of it because i know it soon enough i'll be sick of it. this happens to every song i listen to. it's not a bad thing though, people need to move on right? hmm what's else...i watched 2ne1tv, it's boring and lame, why can't they have bigbangtv or se7entv and such stuff? i mean, yg is so biased when it comes tv exposure, >< but what does it have to do with me right? they are living their lives, and im living mine. i dont think that our lives will cross at all, so....hmph, now this is sounding sad. anyway...i know i say anyway a lot, it's because i really have nothing to say. okay it's 11 57 now, i shall go to bed, goodbye! :) i love you my dear blog, even though i rarely post any update. :)

Oh.

oh. how i wish you could know what i'm feeling inside.
i'm tired of the lies, the pain and the untold stories.
can't we stop and drama and go back to our peaceful life?
or is this what you wanted?
i'm confused,
yet i can't speak a single word.
i'll just watch you,
fading away in my memories,
but never fully forgotten.
there's always this white space reserved for you,
for eternity.

i love you so much so i closed the curtains.
teach me how to forget, would you?

damn.

i guess i belong to myself.

the birth of a new member!

ZORAY!! :)
that is 佐芮 in chinese! :)

Pythagoras' Theorem

http://www.sunsite.ubc.ca/DigitalMathArchive/Euclid/java/html/pythagorasdissection.html

chasing cars.

we'll do it all, everything, on our own.
we don't need, anything, or anyone.

if i lay here, if i just lay here. would u lie with me, and just forget the world?

not fair.

NOT FAIR .

~

Where did u go?

ZS

what can i do to make u understand?

Let me hear your voice

The rain just now has stopped
The smell of asphalt is floating around the city
Hey, over there too, the weather is fine already right?
For the weather has cleared up from the west
Since you’re not a morning person
Everyday, will you be able to wake up properly?
I’m still worried about things like that

The spreading sky, the freedom
Although neither of them has changed
Right now, just that… it’s only just that you are not by my side

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We’ll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, definitely
An important STEP to that future

The first time I met you was
Around this season right?
The light up street was
Glowing beautifully
The crybaby-you, from that time on, often
Laid your forehead on my shoulder
You were crying right? That extreme warmth
From your touch on my shoulder

Everyone lives, carrying his own worry
Desperately holding his broken heart

Let me hear you voice
If we become more kind
We’ll be able to love each other
Don’t avert my eyes
Let me hear your voice
Let’s get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness
The feelings of this moment become our bond

Yeah, Since you went away hasn’t been the same
In my heart all I got is pain
Could it be that I played a game to lose you, I can’t maintain
Sunlight moonlight you lit my life realize in the night
while love shines bright
Cant let you go we’re meant forever baby let me know

This past without you, Can’t forget you
Letting me be the cloud hanging above me
Raining on me missing you touch
Nights get longer and it’s hard to clutch
We’re apart ,breaks my heart
Its all for the best girl you’re my world
In time my love unfurls
till then wait for you girl

Let me hear your voice
If we become honest, surely
We’ll be able to understand each other
Please open your heart
Let me hear your voice
The path we have come is, for us, surely
An important STEP to that future

randomness.

drowned.in.the.sea.of.random.memories.
i dream about u, i wake up, and i spend the rest of my day trying to forget about u.